Remembering Bone

Last Wednesday we put Bone to sleep, my cat of 17 years....Felix's cat since birth.  Bone was very sick this past month, and that fact was not lost on Felix.  He has helped me give Bone his pills (by talking gently to him) and clean up after his "accidents"; he's watched as I've offered Bone countless plates of different cat foods, and listened as Susan and I have worried and wondered about whether it was time.

When we finally made the decision, we knew we wanted Felix involved in some way.  We didn't want it to be a mystery, or for Felix to forget about Bone due to our silence.  We decided we would tell him that Bone died, talk with him about our memories of Bone, ask him if he wanted him to help us plant flowers on Bone's grave, and explain to him that Bone's job was now helping those flowers grow.

This was Felix's first experience with death.  Not surprisingly, he found it a bit confusing, and asked over and over again what death was, and if Bone would be coming back.  Finally things started to sink in, and the questions got more complex: would Bone come back after the flowers grew?  What about his friends with cats...were they going to die too?  Why were we sad?

It was amazing and inspiring to witness Felix's process with understanding death for the first time.  He was so open with all of his feelings and questions (as he always is), and has surprised me by bringing up memories of Bone, days later.  Yesterday, he told me he remembered Bone's pink nose and purr, and the way Bone would wake him up sometimes by coming into his room and meowing.

While Felix and Bone were never "best friends" - Bone was a crotchety old cat and Felix is an energetic 3 year old - they shared a home together, and appreciated each other's ways.  Bone knew that when vying for attention he was competing with Felix.  Felix knew to respect Bone's space. I hope that in some way Felix will always remember Bone, and that his love and respect for animals was nurtured by this first relationship.